The sea was an angry monster splashing
around like a storm,
The clouds were dirty sheep slowly moving
around.
And The Highwayman came riding-
Riding-riding-
The Highwayman came riding up to the old
window.
The Landlord’s daughter came,
They talked and kissed and then he said
good-bye to the lovely, black-haired dame.
His horse trotted away but on the way down
the lane,
But not so far from him came marching some
red, armed, bearded men,
The Highwayman decided to hide and shoot,
He hid behind a nut tree and shot all of
them down.
He gathered all their weapons and galloped
all the way back,
Back down the rusty track.
Then one of the frightened soldiers ran
away and got back on his feet,
His name was Tim the Ostler was the only of
them left.
He sprinted back to his house and got some
things to eat,
He was jealous of the Highwayman so he
decided to take up theft.
He said hello to Bess
He hung up all the weapons
But looking in through the window was Tim
Yes it was him……………………………………………
I think freds poem is good because he thought about it carefully and he realy writes like the author.I think it could be better if he changed rideing into a new verb
ReplyDeleteI really like the rhymes and especially the came and dame one.
ReplyDeleteAlso I like how it does not really end and it ends with the ellipsis.
I would change the riding to something else.
Marketa
The first line is a mixed simile and metaphor, as it says the sea is an angry monster and compares this monster to a storm! It also tells you that it is not a pleasant setting.
ReplyDeleteThe ellipses on the last line gives a feeling of spookiness and mystery.
I think the first two lines of the second verse are not correct as Tim the ostler is not one of the soldiers.
I like this poem because some of the words that you have changed like 'dame' it actually makes it really funny.
ReplyDeleteI like your similes so for example ' The sea was an angry monster splashing like a storm.
I don't think all the lines are necessary like 'he sprinted back to the house and got something to eat.
I think my poem was good because it rhymed and I liked the metaphor and similie at the beggining of the sentence. If I did it again, I would make the rhymes fit in more an I would use more metaphors and similies.
ReplyDeleteI think my poem was good because it rhymed and I liked the metaphor and similie at the beggining of the sentence. If I did it again, I would make the rhymes fit in and I would include more similies and metaphors
ReplyDeleteWow what an amazing poem that was Fred.The rhymes were great,I think the best one was the came and dame.I really like how you set the seen.To make it even better you could change the riding to another verb.
ReplyDeleteWow Fred what an amazing poem that was.I really enjoy your rimes like the came and dame one.You really set the seen.I think you could change the riding to another verb.
ReplyDeleteWow Fred what an amazing poem. I really like your rhymes especially the came and dame one. You are really good at setting the scene. You could change the riding to another verb.
ReplyDelete