The Highwayman
One evening in a pitch
dark forest
That nobody had ever
dared to enter except the rich.
Justin a teenage movie
star came in a silver limo only the best
To a VIP hotel. Where
he supposed that he could buy a book about a witch.
Justin had blackish
brown hair,
A short motorcycle
riding like jacket that was made of black leather,
Some boots which were
black as the darkness of midnight
And he was 100% light
as a feather.
When they reached the
hotel in which, he had reserved a huge room to rest,
He went straight to
the casino where he stood dead in his tracks and planted to the ground.
He did this because in
front of his eyes there was the most beautiful teenage star that he had ever
laid his eyes on the absolute best.
“Now “he said to
himself “the most pleasant girl for me I have found!”.
He soon found out that
she was called Selena and was a singer but also a movie star.
John the one who loved
Selena and gave out shoes for bowling had his anger boiling when he saw the two
hanging out but to calm himself and not be mad he whispered to himself “ she is
still the one I love “.
Justin said to Selena
“maybe we could just go to the lake outside- to be alone- though let us not go
far”.
So they went to the
lake and watched together in silence while they heard the graceful fly of a
dove.
Banu
Welldone Banu I like your setting and your characters sound nice.
ReplyDeletebanu its pretty good but it does not rythem.
ReplyDeletegood describe ing:D
good words :D
I think the wow words were good.Also I liked the characters.But I think you have to make it rime more, and make the sentences shorter.
ReplyDeletei think take poem was great beacause you used alot of metephores.i also liked the descibing words you used.but you could improve it by using mose rhyming words.
ReplyDeleteVery nice Banu I really like the sound of the story and the metaphors too. But rhymeing words are always in the end of a sentence.
ReplyDelete