Thursday, 29 November 2012

The children have written their own version of The Highwayman, changing as many things as possible from the story. What do you think?

The Highwayman

One evening in a pitch dark forest

That nobody had ever dared to enter except the rich.

Justin a teenage movie star came in a silver limo only the best

To a VIP hotel. Where he supposed that he could buy a book about a witch.

Justin had blackish brown hair,

A short motorcycle riding like jacket that was made of black leather,

Some boots which were black as the darkness of midnight

And he was 100% light as a feather.

When they reached the hotel in which, he had reserved a huge room to rest,

He went straight to the casino where he stood dead in his tracks and planted to the ground.

He did this because in front of his eyes there was the most beautiful teenage star that he had ever laid his eyes on the absolute best.

“Now “he said to himself “the most pleasant girl for me I have found!”.

He soon found out that she was called Selena and was a singer but also a movie star.

John the one who loved Selena and gave out shoes for bowling had his anger boiling when he saw the two hanging out but to calm himself and not be mad he whispered to himself “ she is still the one I love “.

Justin said to Selena “maybe we could just go to the lake outside- to be alone- though let us not go far”.

So they went to the lake and watched together in silence while they heard the graceful fly of a dove.

 

Banu

5 comments:

  1. Welldone Banu I like your setting and your characters sound nice.

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  2. banu its pretty good but it does not rythem.

    good describe ing:D

    good words :D

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  3. I think the wow words were good.Also I liked the characters.But I think you have to make it rime more, and make the sentences shorter.

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  4. i think take poem was great beacause you used alot of metephores.i also liked the descibing words you used.but you could improve it by using mose rhyming words.

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  5. Very nice Banu I really like the sound of the story and the metaphors too. But rhymeing words are always in the end of a sentence.

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