Tuesday 27 November 2012

Here are the first installments of Year 5B's version of The Highwayman. They have written their own endings to the poem. Can you leave one or two positive comments, and one comment about how you could make it better, about each one.


The Highwayman

Clip-clop the hooves echo in the frosty night,

The Highwayman was ready to kill, affront and fight,

He was going to go and save Bess from her knots,

Ready to affront all of the soldiers which were lot’s,

When he arrived at the inn he killed till moonlight,

Then they ran away forever in the middle of the night,

The soldiers were dead but Bess and the Highwayman where not.

Elodie

3 comments:

  1. Great extra verse Elodie, it has the feel of an Alfred Noyes poem! Well done! Don't forget that appostrophes are for possesion and contraction not just when there is an 's' at the end of the word! Mr Aspden, Year 5, Kincraig Primary School, Blackpool. http://year5.kincraigblogs.net/

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think it was really good but the sentences were short

    ReplyDelete
  3. Banu:Elodie it was very iteresting and catchy but it didn't all make sense.

    ReplyDelete